October 19, 2010


I HAVE FEARS! I know surprising right?? Who doesn't??

At times they drift sporadically through my mind, other times they linger like a bad odor and consume me. Why?? Because Satan likes nothing more than to taunt me with false "what ifs..."

What is someone doesn't want to be my friend..then what?
What if something terrible happens to someone I love..then what?
What if they don't like it...then what??
Then what, then what, then what???? UGH!

In my study on Esther this week we are looking at Esther and her fear of going before the King to change his mind about a plot to kill her people (Jews). She fasted and prayed for three days along with all the Jews that this plan would be foiled. In those days it was against the law to go before the King unless you were summoned. She had to be shaking in her boots!!  Her reply (to Mordacai) "If I perish, I perish". (Esther 4:16-17)

WHAT???? Do I have that kind of courage? Do I fear something so much and STILL look it in the eye and say "If I ____, then ___." Most days I would say NO!  Do I call for help from my King? Do I fast and pray and realize that most of my fears never come to fruition. Big Sigh.............

It doesn't mean that my life won't be touched with evil or heartbreak, it just means that I have been given the security that God will stand by me through it!! If he chooses to "put me through it, He will pull me through it". 

God give me the courage to triumph over my fears, to look them in the eye and say "If I perish, then I perish". I want to have that kind of courage!! I know you have already won the battle and want me to trust you for the outcome. 

Have you given him your fears? He knows them already, but have you released them to him?

So....do you wanna know what happens to Esther? Go read it!!! Its an intriguing book that we can all relate to! I love you all mucho and pray that God will give you courage to look your fears in the eye and say, "If I ____, then I ____. TRUST HIM!!

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you're talking about. I came to that exact place in my life where I learned to say if I perish than I perish. I still have the what ifs from time to time but fear no longer paralyses me. That freedom only comes from complete trust in the Heavenly Father.